what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
