Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
