If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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