Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?

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(+61): View more from Australia

Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.

Fav 1 1138 803
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(315): View more from New York

you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.

Fav 3 1232 657
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(907): View more from Alaska

There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.

(307): View more from Wyoming

I wholeheartedly concur

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(480): View more from Arizona

Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...

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(251): View more from Alabama

well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras

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(714): View more from California

I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.

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