An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
