My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
