hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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