Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.

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(419): View more from Ohio

It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?

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(914): View more from New York

I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.

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(305): View more from Florida

I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy

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(812): View more from Indiana

I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin

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(212): View more from New York

you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize

(212): View more from New York

its the right thing to do

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(913): View more from Kansas

scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat

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