At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
