whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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