from now on my penis is your penis
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
