What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Come on in and take your pants off
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