I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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