I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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