I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
