My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
