maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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