Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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