No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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