its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
