I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
