we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Randomize
