I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I need to calm my uterus...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
