I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
