Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
