I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
