So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
did you just send me my own nude
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
