Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
