I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
