So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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