I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
