every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
