Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
sarcasm needs its own font
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
