the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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