explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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