I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
