This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We are two peas in an std pod
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
