And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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