It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
