I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
