hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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