I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
