saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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