I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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