LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
