Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i dont even know how to be here
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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