what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
