i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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