Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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