Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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